The Bulwer-Lytton Fiction Contest 2024 Winners (opening lines of imagined horrible novels)

The rules for the Bulwer Lytton Fiction Contest are childishly simple:

Each entry must consist of a single sentence.

Sentences may be of any length but we strongly recommend that entries not go beyond 50 or 60 words.

Entries must be “original” (as it were) and previously unpublished.

Due to the volume of submissions, if your entry is more than one sentence or is missing a name or location it won't be considered.

Our contest year runs from one summer to the next. All entries submitted by June 30th are eligible for the winners announced that  August.

We post the winners in mid August, give or take a natural disaster or mild inconvenience. To receive an announcement email, sign up for our mailing list down there in the footer.

In keeping with the gravitas, high seriousness, and general bignitude of the contest, the grand prize winner will receive … a cheap certificate (and bragging rights).