(CW: Some talk about dysphoria) I’ve got some questions regarding trans stuff as an egg.

I think I have basically no dysphoria or almost none. Is this common, or does it mean I’m not trans?

My position is kind of simple—I actually enjoy being a dude; it’s pretty rad most of the time. Yet, I like women, desire them, and sometimes I want to be them.

That said, there are some important caveats. I’m completely fine growing old as a man, but I dread the idea of aging as a woman. That might be internalized misogyny, but it is what it is. I also feel like I’m building something in my life, and becoming a trans woman of color (I’m Black) wouldn’t exactly help my goals; it would make everything harder I assume.

On top of that, I’ve recently started to live. I meet people in real life, I have a partner, and I’m learning to cook. For the last 5-7 years, I was a reclusive hermit who mostly went to work and lurked online. I feel like if I want to transition, I should do it within the next year, but it’s all a bit much.

I came out to an online friend as trans about 10 years ago, and they were pretty chill about it, but I walked it back. Fast forward to now—I recently told my partner that I’m thinking about transitioning, and they were very supportive and sweet. However, the more I think about it, the more I’m starting to get cold feet.

I can’t think of many bigger, more impactful decisions than transitioning, aside from becoming a parent or getting drafted into a large war, maybe. I think people who transition are very brave, but at my core, I’ve always been a lazy coward

Any input is welcome. If it matters im also in my mid 30s.

EDIT . Yes I made a somewhat similar thread some time ago...but circumstances change.