To the Applebees hostess whose hand brushed mine when giving me my receipt for my appletini

i don't really understand how a w*man can form such an intimate bond to a man without feeling the urge to have a full relationship, but apparently, that's possible.

if you want intimacy without a relationship, that's what boi f*cks are for. but they won't care about you.

Anyway I still tipped 10%, those quarters have been in my cupholder a long time but don't worry the crust is just monster energy drink that I spilled by accident

well, not my cupholder per se, since I usually ride the bus