What's the difference between poor focus habits and ADHD
  • ReadFanon ReadFanon Now 100%

    Oh, shit. Well I'm glad that I mentioned that last part then because I almost didn't do it. I hope it turns out to be useful advice for you!

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  • What's the difference between poor focus habits and ADHD
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    I don't disagree with what you've said here entirely. Capitalism absolutely aggravates mental illness and it produces conditions that generate mental ill health.

    But ascertaining the correct etiology of a condition doesn't necessarily have an impact on the treatment. Say a person is experiencing liver failure due to alcoholism. The cause is alcoholism, the condition is liver failure, and yet the treatment remains the same whether or not it was alcoholism that brought about the condition.

    In the same way, we can attribute much of psychiatric disorders to capitalism but, at least for the individual, the treatment remains the same.

    I think we need to be cautious to avoid a puritanical attitude towards psychiatric meds. I could write a book based on my criticisms of psychiatry and the pharmaceutical industry and how they operate, however at the same time we shouldn't discourage people from the appropriate use of medications to improve their wellbeing regardless of how ruthless and exploitative the pharmaceutical industry itself is. The system is going to be fucked whether or not someone has an appropriate medication regime for their mental health. The only difference is that one option means an improved quality of life.

    It's also important to keep in mind though that there are certain mental illnesses that do require an ongoing medication regime for maintenance and that this would persist under socialism. Schizophrenia and bipolar are two very obvious examples here. Even under fully automated luxury gay space communism, the overwhelming majority of cases of bipolar and schizophrenia are going to require ongoing medication regimes.

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  • What's the difference between poor focus habits and ADHD
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    Unsolicited advice incoming but you rightfully put a lot of emphasis on the emotional dysregulation aspect of ADHD, which gets chronically overlooked.

    Personally I have found that clonidine works really well for my experience of emotional dysregulation and rejection sensitivity. It's a boring medication - typically it's just used for lowering blood pressure and it's quite safe and generally well tolerated. (Obviously stimulant medications increase your BP so taking something that reduces your BP as a side effect is actually beneficial in the long term.)

    It might be something that is worth looking into for yourself given what you wrote here.

    As a sidebar, I also experience PTSD and clonidine helps with managing my trauma response. One perk of the medication is that it's fast acting and you don't get major withdrawals from it so if I had a ton of trauma nightmares the night before or if I'm struggling with PTSD symptoms during the day for whatever reason, I can just increase my dose as needed on that particular day and it helps keep things manageable for me.

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  • What's the difference between poor focus habits and ADHD
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    There needs to be further research on this but ADHD occurs in autistic people at an approximate rate of somewhere between 20-40%.

    There's very little out there about autism or ADHD for adults and almost nothing about comorbid autism and ADHD in adults.

    Speaking anecdotally as someone who is autistic and an ADHDer, I fit into neither the ADHD nor the autism categories neatly. My ADHD traits often counterbalance my autistic traits and, likewise, my autistic traits often counterbalance my ADHD traits. (At least when they aren't ganging up on me.) It's very complex.

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  • I'm super surprised Tom Nicholas was invited
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    I'd call BE an eclectic Marxist tbh.

    He definitely holds his fair share of ultra positions but he's not actually an ultra; he mentioned that he considered Stalin to be 50/50 good/bad and Mao to be 70/30. An ultra wouldn't say anything like that (despite my objections that those names at the least need to be swapped around; not to start a struggle session but Stalin made a lot of choices that were either under duress or the best of a bad set of options while Mao made some major fuckups all by himself, although I think both figures need higher ratings tbh.)

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  • I'm super surprised Tom Nicholas was invited
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    One thing that wasn't mentioned in that post is that BE denied the fact that BA415 faced any credible threat because he wasn't at risk of being killed after being doxed.

    For one thing, I believe it was France that had its demographic data used to aid in identifying the people who were put into concentration camps and/or exterminated; just because your personal information is safe today under the current regime is no assurance that your personal information won't be used against you tomorrow under different circumstances.

    Another thing is that this is just completely false. It's not a stretch to imagine that he might have been swatted and that during the swatting he could have gotten killed, either through typical Yankee cop negligence or by something more malicious and planned.

    Last of all, being doxed can pose a significant threat to your safety and wellbeing without credible threats to your life. Just because nobody is coming around to your address to put a bullet in your head doesn't mean that they aren't ordering a barrage of pizzas at all times of the night, that people can't threaten, intimidate, or harass you, that they can't interfere with your job, that they can't get you fired, evicted, or brought up on false charges etc.

    I'd love to get BE to respond on stream to a question about why he keeps his identity and residence away from public knowledge because he'd immediately give half a dozen reasons why this is the case without needing a moment to think about it. It would really undermine this shitty hot take of his.

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  • Boycott Israel and Buycott Palestine?
  • ReadFanon ReadFanon Now 100%

    Buy a genuine Palestinian kufiya and wear it to show solidarity with Palestinians while enraging any nearby Zionists.

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  • UK women charged under terrorism law for paraglider protest posters
  • ReadFanon ReadFanon Now 100%

    This is the point where, if I was an organiser in the UK, I would start pushing really hard for raising awareness about how the watermelon is symbolic of support for Palestine and I'd start organising watermelon-based protests, including the strategic deployment of watermelons left at the entrances to Zionist organisations.

    If they want to push demonstrations for Palestine underground, so be it. Getting arrested as a prisoner of conscience in the UK isn't going to serve the interests of Palestinians.

    But imagine how fragile and absurd the Zionists would look if they tried to suppress the celebration of watermelons and public watermelon eating events or if people started getting brought up on terrorism charges for "accidentally" leaving a shopping bag with a watermelon on the steps of buildings.

    Not only would judges be virtually forced to throw out any charges laid against people for this stuff but it would be an absolute media coup to have big Zionist organisations playing victim by cowering in terror at a watermelon left on their steps.

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  • when the issue goes off your head
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    according to your biological sex

    Okay, cool but I've never undergone scientific testing to establish my biological sex so I guess I should just stick to being non-binary to avoid this dangerous trap? Pls advise.

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  • The least hazardous carbrain
  • ReadFanon ReadFanon Now 100%

    To be fair, I'm not sure that there's a whole lot that you'd be able to do to that car with a hammer that this driver hadn't already done themselves.

    Sometimes the best thing to do is to do nothing at all.

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  • I miss having my shit together
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    This is based on nothing besides the fact that I recognise your username and I get the vibe that you're in that 16-25yo bracket.

    With that in mind and from what you've said here, which is admittedly very little info, I would recommend considering the possibility that you may be neurodivergent (specifically of the ADHD/autistic/AuDHD varieties.)

    It's just a wild hunch so I'm not going to go into the why of it but it's just worth thinking about and especially trying a screening test or two over.

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  • USSR conservative in sex matters?
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    Ah, I found it!

    It's called "Sex in Public: The Incarnation of Early Soviet Ideology

    I haven't read it so I can't promise anything but it might be a good place to start at the least.

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  • Helping a friend escape the manosphere. What to do?
  • ReadFanon ReadFanon Now 100%

    So a lot of this is going to be contextual - how important the friendship is, how deep he has gone into the manosphere, how long he's been in it etc.

    I'm going to approach this from the assumption that it's a long-game situation and that you care about the person deeply. Pretty much everything applies from this but whether you choose to maintain the friendship or whether you decide to end the friendship or you aren't willing to invest as much into this project as it demands is your prerogative.

    Basically in a long-game situation your primary concern will be to always maintain the relationship and lines of communication. If you don't have those two fundamental factors, you will be unable to effect any change.

    What this means is that you will almost certainly need to be judicious in what you choose to push back on and when you decide to do it. What this looks like, in practice, is letting things slide by if they do not serve your overall goals. I'm not saying that you have to tacitly or even implicitly support their opinions but if you are skilful about it you can make asides to voice dissent without dragging something down into a debate. Throwaway lines like "I don't really see it that way" or "That doesn't track with my experience" before carrying on the conversation are going to be important here.

    Your friend has almost certainly taken the trauma of a breakup and turned it into manosphere bullshit. What this means is he likely feels lost, powerless, abandoned, disillusioned etc. and the manosphere narratives are assuaging these underlying feelings. You will need to approach your interactions with him in a way that does not threaten him or aggravate these feelings of powerlessness etc. because if you position yourself as a threat to the beliefs which give him a sense of security and power then you will aggravate the underlying causes for him falling to the manosphere and you will almost certainly make him dig deeper into the manosphere as a way of bolstering himself.

    You will need to walk the tightrope of being a friend to him while not being an ally to his beliefs. You will have to demonstrate that you will not abandon him and that you are not going to force him into positions where he feels powerless. But at the same time, you cannot endorse his beliefs and you will need to get him to trust you enough that he expresses these opinions to you and then to trust you enough to let you explore these opinions in regards to validity, consequences, implications etc.

    This is where the real work takes place. You need to be delicate and engaged while also holding a position of detachment - if you treat these discussions where you explore his beliefs from an antagonistic angle or where you are heavily invested in it emotionally, it's going to result in arguments and shutting down and similar counterproductive outcomes.

    Essentially, you want to get him to move from a totalising narrative such as "All women are b*tches" to something which has nuance, even if it isn't a complete reversal. This might mean that when he says something like this and you have decided that it's appropriate to challenge it in that moment, you could reflect that he doesn't treat his mom/sister/etc. as if that statement is true. Then you want to explore this apparent contradiction and use dialogue to open up space to compare, reflect, challenge, and further explore.

    If, over time, he moves from "All women are b*tches" to something like "Most women are..." or "Women can be..." then that's progress, even if it doesn't feel that way.

    Keep on chipping away at these values by exploring them, gently countering them (especially with real-world examples), and ultimately getting him to question the narratives himself.

    It's kinda hard to give a clear procedural roadmap to how you would go about challenging someone's beliefs because it's all so contextual but I hope this is a starting point for you. And I just want to give you a caution that if you approach interactions with your friend from the position of "I'm right and he's wrong, he needs to learn from me so that he can see my point of view and why I'm right", you're never going to make progress. You have to be humble, open, curious, and most of all gentle.

    Good luck with it.

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  • USSR conservative in sex matters?
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    There was an academic work mentioned in a recent Cosmopod episode Between the Market and the Plan. It was a very brief mention in regards to the shifting sexual mores in the USSR.

    Unfortunately the title of the work wasn't very descriptive nor catchy so I can't recall it now. And of course the episode is 3 hours long. I'll try to dig up the reference and get back to you about it.

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  • Today in 1990, the German Democratic Republic was annexed by the Federal Republic of Germany
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    Just to contribute to this point with something to reflect upon:

    During the (laughably titled) "Red Vienna" era, when SocDems ran the city, the government built high quality housing blocks for the working people, which would house one tenth of the city's entire population.

    Rent in these blocks was around 4% of a working class income.

    Are you pulling in more cash than a Viennese worker in the 1932, dollar-for-dollar (adjusted)? Probably.

    Are you spending somewhere from 25-75% of your income on housing alone, making you effectively worse off than that Viennese worker in 1932? Again, probably.

    When you crunch the rawest of numbers you can get some really skewed ideas about what the reality is. Statistics lie.

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  • [How] should one take notes on reading?
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    Okay, for note-taking I think there are a few critical things to do:

    1. Write down explanations of terms/names which you don't implicitly understand the meaning of. Lenin is dragging Kautsky but you don't know why or what Kautsky represented? Cool. Figure it out via Wikipedia, searching r*ddit, making a question here or on Hexbear about it etc. and write a summary of what "Kautsky" symbolises.

    2. Write down questions and assumptions as they come up. "SPD will later betray the KPD" or "How does the SPD rationalise their collaboration with the Nazis? Is Thällman right about 'social fascism'?"

    3. Highlight key points and takeaways from the text. Stuff like interesting quotes, important details, the key learnings etc. All the stuff that you would put into a summary of the book if you needed to, basically.

    4. You don't have to do this in the book itself. You might want to write things down on a notepad or type it up in a word document. Depending on how in-depth you're going, you may want to even go so far as to make it into something resembling a draft of an essay. Note that the very exercise of writing things out will reinforce your learning process so it doesn't even need to be a permanent document tbh.

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  • [How] should one take notes on reading?
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    I'm also in favour of going ham on annotating books because what use is a book if it goes unused?

    The purpose of a book is to be read and to be used as a tool for learning, so use it as it's been designed.

    My caveat here would be for books which are first editions or extremely rare ones but that aside, use it as you will.

    If you still don't feel comfortable with that then you can use a pencil so that your annotations are erasable or you can buy sticky inserts that are transparent overlays which you can use to write onto which doesn't cause any permanent impact on the book itself.

    As for how you take notes, it depends on what your purpose is. I'm going to chew on this question and respond to it in another reply once I've mustered the brainpower.

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  • *Permanently Deleted*
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    Ohh sorry I completely misinterpreted in that case. I thought you said you had pale skin in order to imply that you were a PoC but with a comparatively pale skin tone. My bad!

    Damn, they treat you as subhuman just because you have dark hair and dark eyes? That's really rough.

    I'm sorry but I really can't think of anything that would be relevant to this experience. I wish I could.

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  • "Initials" by "Florian Körner", licensed under "CC0 1.0". / Remix of the original. - Created with dicebear.comInitialsFlorian Körnerhttps://github.com/dicebear/dicebearIN
    Informed Tankie ReadFanon Now 100%
    Understanding the Moscow Trials-Part 1 (1900-1920) | The Crimson Flag Podcast (1:17:45)
    yewtu.be

    >This is the first of several episodes that we will do on the Moscow Trials. For fuller context we decided to start our investigation with the beginnings of the Russian Social Democratic Labour Party. Hope you enjoy! Full playlist: https://yewtu.be/playlist?list=PLylERqfCJuXgQa9m-0rxykESsmA-urQtS

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    ...because I'll *never* be him

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    "Initials" by "Florian Körner", licensed under "CC0 1.0". / Remix of the original. - Created with dicebear.comInitialsFlorian Körnerhttps://github.com/dicebear/dicebearLE
    Try telling an anarchist that the EZLN is not anarchist, they openly reject the label of anarchism, and that applying the label of anarchism to the EZLN is inherently colonialist...

    "*...nah bro, it's still anarchist because they adhere to anarchist principles!!*" "*...nah bro, the EZLN is actually anarchist even though they openly reject anarchism as their identity!!*" "*...nah bro, it's not an expression of a colonialist attitude to appropriate the EZLN struggle as being part of my political beliefs!!*" It's astounding to me that western anarchists will defend to the death the right of trans people to self-identify but when a political struggle in the third world asserts its right to self-identify they'll steamroll it without a second thought. Imagine claiming to reject unjust hierarchies and then placing yourself above the people of a movement to paternalistically appropriate their cause as being part of your own political ideology. Here are the EZLN in their own words on the matter: > The EZLN and its larger populist body the FZLN are NOT Anarchist. Nor do we intend to be, nor should we be. > > Over the past 500 years, we have been subjected to a brutal system of exploitation and degradation few in North America have ever experienced. > > It is apparent from your condescending language and arrogant short-sightedness that you understand very little about Mexican History or Mexicans in general. > > Our struggle was raging before anarchism was even a word, much less an ideology with newspapers and disciples. Our struggle is older than Bakunin or Kropotkin. We are not willing to lower our history to meet some narrow ideology exported from the same countries we fought against in our Wars for independence. The struggle in Mexico, Zapatista and otherwise, is a product of our histories and our cultures and cannot be bent and manipulated to fit someone else’s formula, much less a formula not at all informed about our people, our country or our histories. We as a movement are not anarchist. > > We see narrow-minded ideologies like anarchism... as tools to pull apart Mexicans into more easily exploitable groups. > > But what really enraged [us is] the familiar old face of colonialism shining through your good intentions. Once again we Mexicans [find ourselves put into a position where we] are not as good as the all knowing North American Imperialist who thinks himself more aware, more intelligent and more sophisticated politically than the dumb Mexican. This attitude, though hidden behind thin veils of objectivity, is the same attitude that we have been dealing with for 500 years, where someone else in some other country from some other culture thinks they know what is best for us more than we do ourselves. > > Once again, the anarchists in North America know better than us about how to wage a struggle we have been engaged in since 300 years before their country was founded and can therefore, even think about using us as a means to “advance their project.” That is the same exact attitude Capitalists and Empires have been using to exploit and degrade Mexico and the rest of the third world for the past five hundred years. > > Even though [you talk] a lot about revolution, the attitudes and ideas held by [you] are no different than those held by Cortes, Monroe or any other corporate imperialist bastard you can think of. Your intervention is not wanted nor are we a “project” for some high-minded North Americans to profit off. > > So long as North American anarchists hold and espouse colonialist belief systems they will forever find themselves without allies in the third world. The peasants in Bolivia and Ecuador, no matter how closely in conformity with your rigid ideology, will not appreciate your condescending colonial attitudes anymore than would the freedom fighters in Papua New Guinea or anywhere else in the world. > > Colonialism is one of the many enemies we are fighting in this world and so long as North Americans reinforce colonial thought patterns in their “revolutionary” struggles, they will never be on the side of any anti-colonial struggle anywhere. We in the Zapatista struggle have... asked the world to... respect the historical context we are in and think about the actions we do to pull ourselves from under the boots of oppression. [Source](https://theanarchistlibrary.org/library/ejercito-zapatista-de-liberacion-nacional-a-zapatista-response-to-the-ezln-is-not-anarchist) (Excuse the minimisation that the editor feels compelled to engage in with their mention of "*the* ***subtle*** *colonialist tendencies*" and in saying "*it is unclear whose voice is this Zapatista response, which uses 'we' to speak for all on such important themes. We [**My note:** Who is 'we'? It is unclear whose voice in this editorial note which uses 'we' to speak for all on such important themes...] fully agree that arrogance toward the struggles in Mexico should have no part in any commentary. Perhaps it is also worth asking whether centralization and representation can be anti-authoritarian?*" — does the editor have no shame and no capacity for insight? Did they even listen to the author before typing this out? It's remarkable that this editor's royal "we" applies a standard of demanding proof of consensus from the EZLN in their communications which is entirely absent from their concern when other movements write or when Subcommandante Marcos writes but is not directly criticising western anarchists, not to mention in their own editorial note itself. They are setting their own personal standards for how they define the terms centralisation and anti-authoritarian then they're projecting this onto the EZLN and concern-trolling over what they *assume* to be the EZLN falling short of the editor's standards. Way to miss the point, guys!)

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    Source: https://www.elciudadano.com/en/nato-and-its-links-with-nazism/06/23/

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    Anti-Outside Aktion on blast

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    "Initials" by "Florian Körner", licensed under "CC0 1.0". / Remix of the original. - Created with dicebear.comInitialsFlorian Körnerhttps://github.com/dicebear/dicebearPI
    piracy ReadFanon Now 100%
    Looking for an ebook? Hit me up.

    I'm pretty handy at sourcing ebooks that aren't listed on LibGen/Zlib. Theory and history books will be given preference if I get inundated with requests but I'll try to find whatever you're looking for. Comment with the full title and author of each book, each on a separate line. Please don't request "everything from x author" or "the books in the x series" because then I have to guess as to which books are in that series or I have to look up every book myself, which adds a lot of unnecessary work for me.

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    "Initials" by "Florian Körner", licensed under "CC0 1.0". / Remix of the original. - Created with dicebear.comInitialsFlorian Körnerhttps://github.com/dicebear/dicebearLE
    CrimethInc: Some of the anarchists who went to fight in the Ukraine joined the Azov Battalion and the OUN. But they weren't really anarchists so it's okay.
    crimethinc.com

    Makes you wonder why the most committed anarchists would go to the Ukraine to fight if they weren't really anarchists in the first place. If the anarchists were really as disorganised as this article paints them to be, any adventurist would have had much better luck finding their way to the front through virtually any other route than as an anarchist. Notice the unfalsifiable orthodoxy that kicks in in the editorial note, immediately dismissing any anarchist who joined the Azov Battalion or the OUN as being a false anarchist since joining with fascists disqualifies your from being an anarchist. That's very convenient and all but the lack of self-crit shown in this article is astounding.

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    "Initials" by "Florian Körner", licensed under "CC0 1.0". / Remix of the original. - Created with dicebear.comInitialsFlorian Körnerhttps://github.com/dicebear/dicebearLI
    The CIA & the Frankfurt School’s Anti-Communism • Gabriel Rockhill
    thephilosophicalsalon.com
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    "Initials" by "Florian Körner", licensed under "CC0 1.0". / Remix of the original. - Created with dicebear.comInitialsFlorian Körnerhttps://github.com/dicebear/dicebearPO
    How Stalin Tried to Prevent World War 2 w/Michael Jabara Carley • Actually Existing Socialism
    youtu.be

    A really good smaller podcast which focuses on interviewing academics on socialist topics in their areas of expertise

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    "Initials" by "Florian Körner", licensed under "CC0 1.0". / Remix of the original. - Created with dicebear.comInitialsFlorian Körnerhttps://github.com/dicebear/dicebearBR
    The Winds of History: A More Honest Biography of Stalin [playlist]
    https://youtube.com/playlist?list=PLVhXxW5gMC_8zvj04UAGqWzYT-d6XSbqZ

    Produced by small YouTuber who deserves a lot more attention and subs for the hard work that they're doing

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    "Initials" by "Florian Körner", licensed under "CC0 1.0". / Remix of the original. - Created with dicebear.comInitialsFlorian Körnerhttps://github.com/dicebear/dicebearLE
    Debunking the anarchist myth that The Red Army "stabbed the Makhnovists in the back"

    This is a persistent myth that is shared amongst anarchists and RadLibs alike that the Soviets betrayed the Makhnovists by reneging on their so-called alliance with the Black Army, turning on them immediately after the defeat of the White Army. This furnishes the anarchist persecution fetish and common narratives about how communists will always betray "the true revolution" and how Lenin was a tyrant. The historical facts, however, paint a significantly different picture. For one, you do not sign pacts with your allies. There _was_ a military pact that was signed but, like the Molotov-Ribbentrop pact, this is something that occurred between two parties that were constantly at odds with each other and the pact was signed out of conditions where the interests of both parties were temporarily aligned. This simple fact escapes the historical revisionists constantly but, unsurprisingly, only when it serves their arguments. Secondly, Makhno himself knew that this pact was only temporary. Upon the signing of the pact he had this to say in The Road to Freedom, the Makhnovists' mouthpiece, in October 13, 1920: "Military hostilities between the Makhnovist revolutionary insurgents and the Red Army have ceased. Misunderstandings, vagueness and inaccuracies have grown up around this truce: it is said that Makhno has repented of his anti-Bolshevik acts, that he has recognized the soviet authorities, etc. How are we to understand, what construction are we to place upon this peace agreement? What is very clear already is that no intercourse of ideas, and no collaboration with the soviet authorities and no formal recognition of these has been or can be possible. We have always been irreconcilable enemies, at the level of ideas, of the party of the Bolshevik-communists. We have never acknowledged any authorities and in the present instance we cannot acknowledge the soviet authorities. So again we remind and yet again we emphasize that, whether deliberately or through misapprehension, there must be no confusion of military intercourse in the wake of the danger threatening the revolution with any crossing-over, 'fusion' or recognition of the soviet authorities, which cannot have been and cannot ever be the case." [Source: Nestor Makhno: Anarchy's Cossack by Skirda and Sharkey, pp. 200-201] Clearly these are not the words that allies speak about one another. At the successful Seige of Perekop, whereby the Red and Black Armies successfully broke the back of Wrangel's White Army forces and brought the Southern front to a conclusion, Makhno's aide-de-camp Grigori Vassilevsky, pronounced the end of the pact, proclaiming: "That's the end for the agreement! Take my word for it, within one week the Bolsheviks are going to come down on us like a ton of bricks!" [Source: Nestor Makhno: Anarchy's Cossack by Skirda and Sharkey, p.238] The fact is that USSR furnished the Black Army with much-needed military supplies without which they would have been unable to continue fighting and Makhno was no pluralistic leader who was open to Bolsheviks; in fact, his army incorporated Bolshevik forces which defected to the Black Army and Makhno set his military secret police force, the Kontrrazvedka, to at first surveil the former Bolshevik military leaders along with the rising Bolshevik influence that had developed particularly around Yekaterinoslav, and then later summarily executed the Bolshevik leaders when they posed too much of a threat to his power due to commanding some of the strongest units in his army. But that's a topic which deserves its own post...

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    Pointing out the hypocrisy of an "anti-tankie" RadLib got my comment removed from Lemmy.ml

    I'm astonished at how sensitive the mods must be over there. Apparently you're allowed to say whatever baseless slander you like about the eeeeevil tankies but the minute someone says "Hold up a sec, you claim to be anti-authoritarian and yet you support authoritarianism either explicitly or implicitly?" and they have to shut it down immediately. Regardless, I think I made a pretty solid counterargument to the typical complaint about communism being authoritarian. Mfers skim read the Wikipedia entry on Hannah Arendt and start thinking they're justified in slinging accusations about "muh authoritarianism" smh.

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    ReadFanon Now
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    ReadFanon

    ReadFanon@ lemmygrad.ml