The lead singer more than makes up for these misdeeds.

https://consequence.net/2023/08/corpsegrinder-plush-toys-john-hopkins-donation/amp/

It's so interesting, the poppets don't come out like normal ones with the springs (though I could probably force them out). I just bought new ones, entirely, so we'll see if those do the trick.

I have replaced the pressure regulator, checked the lines and the attachments for leaks. I still get some pressure in the keg but the beer is severely under-carbonated. This has happened on numerous beers.

I have tried setting to the correct carb pressure and leaving it for 2 weeks, force carbing via the shaking method and the 3-2-1 method where you set the carbonation at triple, drop it to double and then to serving carbonation over three days and I've had these issues with all of them.

I don't quickly run out of CO2 (which I figure I would if there was a leak and this happens on both of my kegs (which both have these types of posts).

My next step if the posts don't fix it will to be trying a diffusion stone but I feel like I shouldn't have to.