CloutAtlas Now • 100%
This man is perpetually trying to go back to a time where he was more popular. Doge memes. Libertarians being relevant (le epic Ron Paul and Ron Swanson). Tumblr tier puns (let that sink in). 69/420 funny numbers. Occupy Wall Street. Its as if I can peer into his mind. I see a divorced man, former cool uncle, now going through a midlife crisis, desperately throwing the same memes and references to recapture his former status as "cool".
Man's gonna release a Harlem Shake video with Trump Jr. and Eric in 2024 wearing a Dicks Out For Harambe shirt.
CloutAtlas Now • 100%
The theory I subscribe to is he got addicted to internet clout by being offbeat and le random xD with tweens after his PewDiePie appearance.
He was content with cameos on The Big Bang Theory or Iron Man as the South African Thomas Edison (in more ways than one). Someone online redditors and tech bros know as some eccentric rocket/car maker.
But after PewDiePie, he tasted the approval of mainstream children. He was on stage with a modern celebrity tasting modern fandom. He's chased that high ever since. And the more he's chased it the more insufferable he's become to a regular person.
All that's left are people too braindead to see through his PR, who think he's an actual Tony Stark genius, and those same braindead morons are overwhelmingly right wing because once again they're too dumb to not fall for right wing talking points. And of course he's pandering to them, the only people who still like him, because affection is the only thing he can't buy.
Emerald mine money can buy him cars, a PR team, a "founder" title, degrees and a reputation as an epic inventor. But it cannot buy him affection. Not from his children, not from people with an ounce of common sense.
CloutAtlas Now • 100%
Bear 
s pilled
CloutAtlas Now • 100%
Thesis: Bear down for midterms
Antithesis: Fat dog for midterms
Synthesis: Fat bear for midterms
CloutAtlas Now • 100%
It is.
Kosovo is {科索沃|kē suǒ wò}
CloutAtlas Now • 100%
Deutschland
Deutsch
De
{德|dé} (meaning moral or virtuous)
{德国|déguó}
CloutAtlas Now • 100%
Bigger red flag than being the guy that releases the rope for guillotines
CloutAtlas Now • 100%
Flying back to Saudi Arabia from NYC with a huge axe for a single execution is barely worth the return flights these days, thanks Democrats.
CloutAtlas Now • 100%
It's the flag of St George, though, could be just a regular gammon from TERF Island
CloutAtlas Now • 100%
I'm assuming the reply is in Arabic because the chud in OP's image is named "Templar" and has the Christian Cross and the English flag.
Burger implies the poster is also unhealthy
CloutAtlas Now • 100%
Could be a Kiwi.
Have you heard them say "not bad"?
CloutAtlas Now • 100%
Um akchually
It's Her turn 
I will be writing in Hillary Clinton for the National People's Congress of the People's Republic of China.
CloutAtlas Now • 100%
Scott Morrison flees to the outback to try and save his own ass, accidentally runs into the Pine Gap perimeter and gets domed by a trigger happy seppo security guard.
He ascends to Hillsong purgatory, which I believe is a 24/7 never ending Australian Idol season, he's stuck in the live audience and the exits are locked.
CloutAtlas Now • 100%
Imagining one Chief Wiggum-esque cop losing all 23
Cue montage:
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Chasing a suspect over a chain link fence, drops gun as he climbs over the top, while hesitating on whether or not to continue the pursuit, a stray dog picks it up in it's mouth and runs away
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Peeing in the bushes during a stakeout, pants around ankles. Suddenly called to action, he tries to spring into a sprint, falls on his face because pants are around ankles. He tries again this time with both hands pullin up his pants as he does an awkward high knee jog, camera pans back to gun just on the ground, forgotten
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On top of a washing machine at a laundromat. Oblivious cop wearing nothing but white boxers with red love hearts, as if he literally had no other clean clothes in his possession fails to notice the gun inching away from him due to the vibration of the machine, it falls into the gap between machine and the wall
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Pickpocketed by a monkey at the zoo
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Duct taped to a white singlet, Die Hard style, but the singlet is in a dead mall's lost and found
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At a wishing well, cop with a coin in one hand and the gun in the other throws the gun into the well
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Pickpocketed by a second, different monkey at the same zoo later that day while hiding behind cover as gunshots, people screaming and monkey cries are heard in the background
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Left on top of the squad car, slides off as he turns a corner
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Under the seat of a shitty old car, camera cuts to the exterior as it's crushed into a cube
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Inexplicably inside a vending machine in between snacks and candy bars
CloutAtlas Now • 100%
"X, the Everything App"
We already have one of those, it's called WeChat.
CloutAtlas Now • 100%
Non meme answer, as a line cook:
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Get a good kitchen knife. If a YouTuber has sponsored it, it's probably overpriced (and honestly, quality varies from bad to just above average). A Chinese caidao/vegetable cleaver is versatile and durable, although possibly a bit intimidating because it's larger than Japanese/French knives. A Shi Ba Zi Zuo will be fine for domestic use for years, very affordable, holds its edge quite well, kind of heavy but unlikely to be strenuous unless you're dicing vegetables for hours on end, and even so weight helps with cutting. Holding it is slightly different to a western pinch grip but should be easy to adjust, huge blade surface area allows for it to rest on your knuckles if you wish usage shown here. You can use it as a bench scraper as well. Get a paring knife for things that require a bit more dexterity and you're set.
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Get a biiiig chopping board. Just as large as you can reasonably clean in your sink.
(meat is in the image on the packaging, and there is chicken bouillon in the flavour packet) Context: {北京|Běi jīng} Mala Instant Noodles is a Chinese instant noodle made in {南街村|Nán jiē cūn}, a Maoist village in Henan that refused to follow Deng's liberal reforms and remained communist to this day. The villagers collectively own the Nanjie group that guarantees employment and runs over 20 different enterprises, largest of which produce foodstuffs such as beer, flour, and noodles amongst other things. The workers are paid 30% of the profits as cash and 70% is re-invested into public works. Villagers enjoy free housing, electricity, gas, healthcare, transport and education from kindergarten to university/vocational school. Furniture and essential electronics are also provided to every household for free.
My proudest posting achievement by far.
{毛主义万岁|máo zhǔ yì wàn suì}
Activation phrase: Tremendous. October. Cadillac. Swamp. Jack. Hostage. Orange. Derail. Lebanon. Crooked. Tariff. Meta. Balloon. Beautiful. Geriatric Agent Voronkov pulls out a dust covered bag and sets off to sabotage various economically significant structures like the Francis Scott Key Bridge and the World Trade Centre
mp.weixin.qq.com
Note: this has technically been the law for a few years but it was not enforced, esp during COVID, nor did many smaller hotels have the software needed to even enter foreign names. Certain chains had a 3 character limit on the name field and because guests legally had to register their ID, they couldn't accommodate. Other short stay hotels wrongly assumed they needed special licenses to house foreigners like long term accommodation.
On the image: "IDF Standard Issue" "National warranty, no transaction fee" "Suitable for shredding multiple top confidential documents simultaneously" And in the comments itself: "This product is portable, can shred evidence of war crimes AND embarass Israel on international TV? This is too good to be true" And "Can I still use it if I'm not having a temper tantrum?" And "I can't fault the guy for promoting an efficient Chinese product"
https://www.nytimes.com/2024/04/15/business/china-gdp-q1.html  it is 2022, the libs say China will not recover from post COVID lull  it is 2021, the libs say China will not recover from harsh, extended COVID lockdowns  it is 2019, the libs say China will not recover from international backlash for cracking down on Hong Kong riots  it is 2018, the libs say China will not recover from international backlash over ~~Adrian Zenz's fever dream~~ the Uyghur genocide and Trump's trade war with China  it is 2016, the libs say China will not recover from an aging population and a lack of youth to replace them due to the one child policy and wasting money on an aerospace program  it is 2014, the libs say China will not recover from Xi's crackdowns on corruption and corporate greed, military spending and renewed efforts to claim the South China Sea  it is 2010, the libs say China will not recover from wasting trillions into a national high speed rail system
This is the best thing they've done since they named me person of the year 2006
Leftists: imperialists are paper tigers, they may appear frightening but if you look closely, they're actually harmless. They are no where near as powerful as they project, they are in reality disorganised The imperialists: The 16 year old kids we keep killing are master Shinobi and can cast genjutsu and teleport. They're so skilled in the art of deception they have embedded themselves in American society posing as taxi drivers and food delivery people for decades at a time.
They laughed. Apparently picking up Spanish from your Spaniard friend has some downsides. As in South American backpackers find it funny/amusing this drunk Chinese guy in an Australian pub used the Castellano equivalent of "y'all" in a sentence.  They were ultimately nice about it, much better than the time my (English speaking) Canadian coworker tried to speak to some Parisians in school level Québécois and they scoffed and continued in English.
www.nbcnews.com
https://web.archive.org/save/https%3A%2F%2Fwww.nbcnews.com%2Fnews%2Fasian-america%2Fflorida-attack-asian-american-man-aquitted-hate-crime-rcna135953 >According to a police report, Mealor and a friend were looking for his girlfriend near a harbor, at one point asking individuals on a docked boat if they had seen her. Muller, who was on the boat, allegedly told the victim he looked “sketchy,” the report said, and ordered them to leave before shouting racial slurs at Mealor, who is of Asian descent and blind in one eye. >“As the victim and witness walked away, the defendant called the victim a ‘cross eyed g—,’” the report said, referring to an offensive term used for Asian Americans. “The victim continued to walk away from the boat, and then heard the defendant call him a ‘lazy eyed g—.’” >Muller ran after Mealor and his friend, the report said. He knocked the friend to the ground before punching Mealor with a closed fist and knocking him unconscious, according to law enforcement. >Muller had previously pursued a “stand your ground” legal challenge, a Florida law that authorizes the use of deadly force in self-defense, but the motion was denied.
Smdh Australia's so backwards they're doing a potato famine era racism towards the Irish.
https://www.nytimes.com/2024/01/08/world/europe/ukraine-troops-exhausted-defensive.html